Thursday, May 5, 2011

More on the Mammogram Nightmare...

A situation nightmares are made of!!!!!!!!  


While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but ... There were extenuating circumstances."

The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances."

I did too so I listened as the lady told her story.

"Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown.        Everything clear?"

I'm thinking, Belinda, try decaf. This ain' t rocket science. Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"

"Fine," I answered.

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!

Complete darkness, the power was off!

Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."

Before I could shout NOOOO! she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."

"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...."

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed!'

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Facing my first Mammogram...

Well, it's official.  I am 40 years old.  Therefore, some man somewhere decided that I need to go and have my boobies flatted out to the thickness of a dime to see if there is cancer in there somewhere.  If there isn't before they squish them, there probably will be when they are done.  I mean, seriously, who thought this up???  Their head should be put in the mammo machine!  I also considered that the doctor who ordered the mammo - a man for the sake of clarification - should have his balls put into the machine and flattened out.

My cousin says that I should practice for it.  Option 1 includes my lying on my side in the driveway while my husband drives over each boob repeatedly with his truck...seeing as how I crashed his truck last week, I think he may get a tad bit too much enjoyment out of that...  The next option involves me standing topless and braless in front of the fridge, opening the door and placing each boob against the edge and slamming the door repeatedly on it.  However, with the "peeper" neighbor we have, he may get way too involved in this one...  It is sad, but I feel some relief in finding out that I am not the only victim of his stalking and peeping.  The young lady that lives right next to me has found him peeping at her too - even pretty close to her windows.  I have considered running thru the yard naked to see if that is what he is dying to see - an overweight 40 yr old woman bare butt naked, but decided that if he didn't like what he saw while he was peeping that the police would probably be more than happy to come out and arrest me for "indecent exposure" even though if he wasn't being a "peeping tom" he wouldn't have seen it to begin with...

But I digress...After facing the fact that I am being forced into this squishiness, I called the hospital to find out how much this torture was going to cost me.  Well, after the coronary I had over the price, it would be cheaper, safer and less painful to just have both breasts removed now, and it would also result in at least a 5 pound weight loss.  Not to mention I would be able to skip the hormone replacement/birth control pills that I am probably going to be prescribed for the other "fun" things that have started going on in my body...

Not to mention that Chris will probably need regularly scheduled sanity breaks.  My Daddy had a tough situation himself.  When I was in puberty, my Mom was in menopause, so the hormones were thick and heavy  at our house all the time...I don't know how he did it, but he walked that fine line and kept the both of us happy and sane at least most of the time...God knows the torment he went thru keeping his mouth shut...It couldn't have been an easy time!

Hopefully I will be on here with my witty banter more often!  I miss blogging and have been silent for way too long.  Some days though it is more than I can do to get what HAS to be done finished, let alone what I WANT to do....

Thursday, December 30, 2010

My Laundry Poem....

The laundry breeds
When you're not looking,
While you're running the vacuum,
Or doing the cooking...

Load after load
In the washer it goes...
Gee, I don't even recognize
Half of these clothes!

Out of the washer
Then into the dryer.
Am I just imagining it;
Did that dirty pile grow higher??

Out of the dryer,
Now to fold and put away...
Doing the laundry eats up
All of our days!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Wedding - The final chapter...At Last...

I am sorry it has been so long since I have posted on here, but life has a way of grabbing you by the balls and shaking the shit out of you and then spitting you back out on the ground...

On Friday, Sept 10, we slept in and then headed out to Nag's Head and took a two hour dolphin tour.  It was really awesome!  We saw a lot of dolphins and even a mama and her baby!  That was really cool!  And the ride back was really cool too, literally!  A north wind started blowing across the sound at around 17+ mph!!  We were freezing!!  Thankfully the car was warm when we got there and we had our jackets in there.  We headed out to Blackbeard's Golf and played a round.  It would have been really neat if they hadn't waited till we were the 16th hole to turn the water effects on!  Of course Hubby whipped up on me!  But it was fun!  We went out to Jockey's Ridge and hiked on the dunes and got some great pictures!  There were 3 "ponds" there left over from Hurricane Earl.  And they were full of tadpoles.  I got to wade in two of them!  We got some souvenirs from Ben Franklin's and candy from Forbe's then headed back to Outback for supper!  When we got back to the house, we decided to ride our bikes out to Harris-Teter and get some milk.  Hubby was out in front and I had stopped to take some pictures of flowers and I was pedaling fast to catch up with him.  I went under a tall pine tree and a bird POOPED ON MY HEAD!!!  Now that bird had to time that just right!  What were the odds considering how fast I was riding that that bird would hit me in the head!!  We got our milk and rode back to the house where I got cleaned up and we found the WVU game on tv and watched it.  Marshall  was beating us BADLY, so we went to bed.  When we got up the next morning we found out that WVU had pulled it out in the fourth quarter and we had WON!  It was only 58 degrees on Sat morning so we laid around waiting for it to warm up a little.  Then we took our bikes for one last marathon ride out to the other end of the Currituck Club.  Over 7 miles total.  We had one hill that was a total killer, and I had an asthma/panic attack near the top of it, but we made it.  I had to stop and rest a while at the top but the view was incredible!   We returned our bikes and walked back to the house and got ready to shop at Tim Buck II.  We walked all around there and then got ready to go to the beach.  We didn't get to stay as long as we would have liked because it was just too cool.  I did track my "Just Married" flippies all up and down the boardwalk :)  We came back to the house and cleaned it up, and realized just how filthy it was!  We will definately NEVER use Sun Realty again!  On Sunday, we got ready and headed home!  It was a beautiful drive!  I would love to drive the road again from WV into VA.  The scenery cannot be beat!
After we got home on Mon, Hubby's eyes were really hurting so I got him an appt with our local eye doc.  My teeth were really hurting, so I got an appt with our local dentist.  Hubby got eye drops for severely dry eye and I got an antibiotic for a sinus infection that showed up on  dental xrays they took to check my teeth.  We got the meds and picked up some wedding presents from friends and came home to download the rest of our pictures and work on sorting them out and found out we had picked up a Trojan virus on our computer.  So Hubby spent the rest of the evening trying to save everything that the virus was trying to eat, including all our honeymoon photos.
My brother called about the party the following weekend, and then all the "no-shows" started coming in.   Hubby's parents were sick, his uncle had just been hospitalized with what turned out to be leukemia.  It had been quite the roller coaster since the wedding...My relatives were coming in from out of state for the party, and my brother wanted to do a cookout.  So the night before, my Mom went to pick up the cake and the cupcakes for the kids that were coming at Shop N Save in Fairmont.  When she got there, they told her we hadn't ordered cupcakes, so she had to wait while they found the order and did the cupcakes.  Then she got it all to the checkout and the checker hit the edge of the cake and sent in flying into the cupcakes, and they had to be redone.  Fortunately the cake itself survived, but it had the wrong icing on it, and they hadn't left any space for the bride and groom...I don't think we will be using them for the bakery again...After another 20 or 30 minutes Mom was on her way with the cakes...We had the party - 120 invited, 20 showed up...wow...talk about a let down.  At least I got to sing with my brother again.  That was really nice and all the close family was there.  My best friend came and did the pictures - and a wonderful job I might add!  If you need pictures, I strongly advise you to contact amandasue.com!  She is AWESOME!!  We got a lot of nice gift cards and got busy planning to continue our addition!   And after my last post, I was contacted by Sun Realty as to why I was so unhappy, and what they could do to remedy it...After I told them all the problems, they never bothered to contact me again...so just adding insult to injury!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

True Justice

Ya wonder why I pack??????

This is fantastic, this guy has an evil but great mind. The perp must be really frantic.

(I thought this was a hoot! )

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 ..45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head...isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in twothreatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Read this slowly, let it sink in, VOTE TOMORROW (2012) !

 
This is about as clear and easy to understand as it can be. Please read the entire article.

 
The article below is completely neutral, not anti republican or democrat. 

 
Charlie Reese, a retired reporter for the Orlando Sentinel has hit the nail directly on the head,  defining clearly who it is that in the final analysis must assume responsibility for the judgments made that impact each one of us every day.  

 
It's a short but good read. Worth the time.  Worth remembering!   

 
 545 vs. 300,000,000   

 
EVERY CITIZEN NEEDS TO READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS JOURNALIST HAS SCRIPTED IN THIS MESSAGE.  READ IT AND THEN REALLY THINK ABOUT OUR CURRENT POLITICAL DEBACLE.   

 
Charley Reese has been a journalist for 49 years.   

 
545 PEOPLE -- By Charlie Reese   

 
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.   

 
Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?  

 
Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?  

 
You and I don't propose a federal budget.  The president does.   

 
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations.  The House of Representatives does.  

 
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.   

 
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.   

 
You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.   

 
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.  

 
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress.  In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.  

 
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason.  They have no legal authority.  They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing.  I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash.  The politician has the power to accept or reject it.  No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.  

 
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault.  They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.  

 
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall.  No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.  The   president can only propose a budget.  He cannot force the Congress to accept it.  

 
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.  Who is the speaker of the House?  Nancy Pelosi.  She is the leader of the majority party.  She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.  

 
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility.  I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.  When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.  

 
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.   

 
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red ...   

 
If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ . If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.  

 
There are no insoluble government problems.   

 
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.  Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.  

 
Those 545 people and they alone, are responsible.   

 
They and they alone, have the power.   

 
They and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses.   

 
Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees! 

 
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!   
    
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.   

 
What you do with this article now that you have read it. It’s up to you and me.   

 
Sales Tax   
School Tax   
Liquor Tax   
Luxury Tax   
Excise Taxes   
Property Tax   
Cigarette Tax   
Medicare Tax   
Inventory Tax   
Real Estate Tax   
Well Permit Tax   
Fuel Permit Tax   
Inheritance Tax   
Road Usage Tax   
CDL license Tax   
Dog License Tax   
State Income Tax   
Food License Tax   
Vehicle Sales Tax   
Gross Receipts Tax   
Social Security Tax   
Service Charge Tax   
Fishing License Tax   
Federal Income Tax   
Building Permit Tax   
IRS Interest Charges   
Hunting License Tax   
Marriage License Tax   
Corporate Income Tax   
Personal Property Tax   
 Accounts Receivable Tax   
Recreational Vehicle Tax   
Workers Compensation Tax   
Watercraft Registration Tax   
Telephone Usage Charge Tax   
Telephone Federal Excise Tax   
  Telephone State and Local Tax   
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)   
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)   
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)   
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax  
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax   
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)  
Utility Taxes Vehicle License Registration Tax   
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes   
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax   
    

 
 Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world.   
 We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.   

 
What happened?  Can you spell “politicians”? I hope this goes around THE USA at least 100 times!!!   
 YOU can help it get there!!!   
GO AHEAD - - - BE AN AMERICAN!!!  

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Continuing Saga of the Wedding Trip...

While we were at the museum, a woman was demonstrating how the kids played back in the 1700's.  We got to  try the toys and games, and she told Chris that he needed to hang on to me b/c life w/me was going to be a lot of fun and she sang to us..."Ohh child, things are gonna get easier..."  After we left there, we went over to Bodie Island Lighthouse.  It is under renovation, so it had scaffolding all around it.  They had a new marsh board walk and it was a beautiful day, so we went out and took our picture w/the lighthouse in the background.  Then we went across the road to Coquina Beach.  There's where the two topless girls were playing frisbee...alrighty then...

We stopped at Five Guys Burgers for lunch b/c all over the internet they have that they are gluten free.  We went in and I asked at the counter.  The girl could barely speak English, so she just says "Nooooo???..."  And the two guys cooking shouldn't have been handling any kind of food, gluten free or not.  Needless to say we got out of there and went back to Outback Steakhouse.  We can always rely on them for a great gluten-free meal!  And the strawberry margaritas are awesome too!  We went back to the house and watched the sunset...Tomorrow was the big day!!

Up at 4:30 Wednesday morning and getting ready for the big day.  I got my hair done and dress on and then put on some makeup.  It didn't look good so I took it back off and just did mascara and powder.  Chris said he wondered why I had put it on to begin with.  He couldn't have been any sweeter if he tried.  When we woke up, he told me - "You are going to be mad, the wind has been blowing hard all night."  We got some good pictures of the waves on the sound though.  We went over to the beach and the officiant and photographer were there, but the witness was late.  We were wondering, but there were people lined up on the boardwalk watching us, so we thought we could grab one of them if we needed too.  She showed up about 15 minutes after the ceremony was to start, and we got married!  The sunrise was gorgeous, all pinks and peaches...  We got lots of pictures and are still waiting for the actual photos to arrive...

We went back to the house and had breakfast and changed clothes.  I called Mom and sang Happy Birthday to her!  She was excited and relieved that we had been married.  We went out to Currituck Lighthouse and climbed to the top.  They only took cash and we were a dollar short for two adult tickets, so the keeper said he would list me as a child.  I told him that was his wedding gift to us.  We climbed up to the top and the winds were 20 + miles per hour...But we walked around and took pictures and then headed back down and toured the grounds.  We walked historic Corolla and got to see one of the wild horses they bring in once a week to draw attention to the need to care for the horses.  We had drinks and snacks and walked out on the estuary boardwalk.  We saw a giant red dragonfly.  It was a nice walk but overgrown.  Then we went to the nature conservatory and walked all through it and watched the movie about the Outer Banks.  We picked up tickets for the ghost tour of the Whalehead Club!  Had burgers & mac n cheese for lunch and took a nap.  Then we went to the beach and walked and laid in the sun and picked up shells until the biting black flies drove us out.  We rode our bikes out to Grammy B's and had ice cream!  Yummy!!  Toured the historic loop on the way back and saw a Momma deer and twin fawns.  The sunset was gorgeous!

On Thurs, we drove down to Cape Hatteras.  It was a beautiful day for a drive.  They were still cleaning up hurricane damage.  The road had standing water and sand in it and there was heavy equipment moving it.  There was a huge tugboat in Oregon Inlet shooting sand way up in the air where they were dredging the shipping lanes to keep them open.  We toured the Graveyard of the Atlantic Museum, but it wasn't as interesting as it was the first time.  They took out a lot of the actual artifacts they had and opened up a huge room full of pirate mannequins and paraphenalia.  It was nice but more geared to kids.  The best tour was of the Chicamacomico Life Saving Station!  We got a lot of mosquito bites, but it was worth it.  We couldn't walk all the way out to the beach and the bucket b/c of all the standing water from the hurricane.  But it was fascinating!  We drove back to the house and had dinner and got ready for the ghost tour.  It was fun, but didn't last very long.  It was really beautiful to see the lighthouse across the lawns lit up for the night.  It was the perfect Southern night!  Chris wouldn't let me on the edge of the dock as we walked back to the car, b/c I am so clumbsy and he didn't want me falling in!

I will post more later...

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Wedding Week: Part Two...

Ok, I'll pick up where I left off...Monday morning, Sept 6, 2010...There may be what you might consider WTMI (way too much info) for the first paragraph...I woke up with a yeast infection from hell!  And went to get something to cure it.  Of course, the only thing available was the usual messy, goopy stuff, and it takes 3 to 5 days to work...While we were eating breakfast, the teeth near the one that had just been repaired on Friday decided to start being grumpy.  It felt like someone had set up an electrical charge on them and was just jumping current from one to the other.  It went on sporadically all day, but we had fun anyway.  We went down to the beach at sunrise and picked out the spot we wanted to get married at and laid around awhile.  Then we went and changed clothes and decided to go to the northern-most point and check out the estuary trail there.  Wow!  More adventure!  We walked out the boardwalk and it was really beautiful.  There was a path off the boardwalk thru the woods, and we debated going to see what was out that way.  There were these HUGE "garden" spiders all over the place.  The ones that make the zig-zags in their webs.  These babies were gigantic about the size of a dessert plate with legs and all.  I got a couple of sticks to swipe webs with and we started out.  A couple of ladies told us that they had just seen a bald eagle over the sound, and we couldn't wait to see it.  The trail was over a mile long, and we took our time and talked and laughed.  There was a small notice on a little sign at the head of the trail saying that we could find ticks, chiggers and spiders on the trail.  We got about 3/4 of the way down the trail and there was a park bench, so we sat down to rest.  All of a sudden Chris starts slapping at his legs and rubbing them.  We looked but didn't see anything except what looked like little grains of sand, and they were moving.  Well, his legs down around the ankles had a BUNCH of these extremely teeny tiny tick/mite/chigger like things on them and we were trying to get them off him.  We did pretty good, but everytime he would stop moving for more than about 5 seconds, they were back on him.  So we hurried up to the end of the trail.  No bald eagle, and more mites, so we headed back to the boardwalk.  Chris got out in front and I had to practically jog to keep up.  He was running thru the woods like his pants were on fire trying to get away from these things.  I started singing "I want to check you for ticks" to him, but that really didn't help...We got back to the boardwalk and the car and got all the critters off him.  Luckily I only had one on me and they didn't go where either of us had put on our sunscreen.  I had put it on my feet too, but Chris had stopped just below his knees.  Good thing he didn't stop putting it on any higher...  The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.  I guess running thru the piney-woods of NC was enough for fate to hand out to us for one day...

On Tues, we decided to go first thing and get our marriage license.  Good thing!  We drove out to Manteo, on Roanoke Island and the first thing we did was drive around for 20+ minutes trying to find a place to park.  There was a police officer doing the same thing, and even she couldn't park.  Finally in a side lot we found a place and beat the officer to it!  Then set off on the hike to the registrar of deeds office.  When we got there, there must have been 20 couples trying to get a marriage license.  We filled out our papers and got out the list of items we were told to bring and got a clerk.  Now keep in mind I had called 3 different times and spoken to 3 different clerks and had read the website numerous times to make sure we were bringing the right things.  They told me specifically NOT to bring our social security cards.  We didn't...and the first thing they asked for was...our social security cards.  Never looked at our birth certificates, divorce papers or anything else.  When we told them we didn't have them, they got all shook up.  One of the clerks said she would accept our W-2's.  Well, I don't know about you, but I don't carry those things on me, and would have NEVER guessed we would have to produce THOSE of all things.  So when I told her we didn't have those either, THEY ACCUSED US OF NOT FILING OUR TAXES FOR 2009!!!  So now just how does this have anything at all with getting a marriage license???  Finally another clerk told us to find a branch of our bank and go there and have them print out a paper with our social security numbers on it - we knew our numbers, but that was NOT enough. I got Mom on the phone in case she was going to have to go and break into the safe deposit box to get our cards out and fax a copy over.  So we went and hunted a branch of the bank.  We went in and one of the people in those little cubicles said "Hi" to us and I just breezed right in and sat down and told him our problem and asked him to fix it.  He did, and was very nice about it.  Chris told me as we were leaving that the clerk was just being nice by speaking to me and I was supposed to take a seat and wait for someone to call us.  I told Chris that you would be surprised at how much help you can get by pulling out your southern accent, being completely helpless, and then after you get what you need you just thank and appreciate the person that helped you until they can't help but smile....That's how I get alot of things done that others find impossible...I "rely on the kindness of strangers".  And say that with a deep accent!

Then it was back to the registrar of deeds office.  Finding another place to park and going thru the process all over again.  We got a different lady and she just looked at the paper and said fill in the blanks on this form, and give me $60!  So off we went with our marriage license.  In the meantime another couple had come in.  Now I am not being mean here just honest...The man was in his 50's and ugly as a mud fence.  He was short and heavy set, dark complected - Mexican/African American- bald, pock-marked face, and a dark suit on.  With him was a gorgeous, tall, thin, model-type wispy blonde dressed in a white pleated silk baby-doll with a black sash and bow around the empire-waist.  When they got up to the counter, the clerk said that they had to have her birth certificate because she was JUST 18 YEARS OLD!!!  Well, that was a mess, because she was from Russia and all that...  It made us feel a little better that we weren't the only ones having problems with that office that day.  We left there with them saying that they THOUGHT WE could bring back our marriage license and get an official copy of it on Wednesday after the ceremony.  A little doubtful, but...  We went and shopped at the Christmas shop and then went to the aquarium and a new place that just opened, The Island Farm.  If y'all ever get to go to the OBX, don't miss seeing The Island Farm.  It is an authentic 1700's farm that the Etheridge's owned.  They were part of the Pea Island Life Saving Station that was manned solely by African American men and their families.  It is the most interesting HANDS ON museum!  I loved it that I could touch things and not feel guilty!

In a little while, I will continue with the "rest of the story..."

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Wedding: Part One

Well, here is the first one of how ever many blogs it takes to get this story out for you all to enjoy!  WARNING:  This may contain episodes of WTMI - Way too much information for those of you who need the translation!  We were scheduled to get married in the Outer Banks, NC on Sept 4, 2010.  So the first thing that went wrong is that Hurricane Earl decided to hit that weekend.  The area was evacuated and noone was allowed in.  Of course who would want to be married on the beach at sunrise in a guazy dress in a hurricane anyway...That would have been like being naked in a sand storm plus being soaked down to the skin.  I wouldn't have needed any chemical peel after something like that, but we decided to pass on that particular spa treatment and managed to get the whole thing rescheduled to sunrise on Wed Sept 8, 2010.  We were set to leave for the OBX on Sun Sept 5.


Well, at 1:30 pm on Fri Sept 3, I was eating lunch and my very back top right molar had a huge chunk break out of it.  So I called my dentist and he said to get in there right that minute, so I ran down there and they did a HUGE filling for me and charged me $180!  OK, I can deal with that whole thing, just don't make me stand on the beach and repeat my vows with a giant toothache!  On Saturday, Chris had to work and I started my new "job" helping clean the office at a auto body shop.  I wound up being there a lot longer than planned, but it was all good.  Got home and got finished packing and ready to go on Sun morning.  I had cooked and baked a lot previously so that we would have a lot of gluten free food for my Hubby-to-be.  We had packed up our bicycles to ride while we were down there, but when we got in the car to leave, the tires were rubbing the inside of the wheel wells, so we had to take them off and were a little late getting out of here.  We would rent bikes when we got there.


We had a beautiful trip down, stopping to see the incredible scenery of the WV & VA mountains.  We went thru Staunton instead of Harrisonburg, so we got to see some country we hadn't seen before.  Alot of it was picture perfect!  Like looking at a living postcard.  We got to the beach about 5 pm and went to check in.  We got our keys and welcome pack and headed over to the Currituck Club.  We knew we were staying in a "community", but we didn't know it was a luxury golf community with an intricate security system.  So the first thing we came to was a guardhouse.  They took one look at us and said "NOPE!"  We didn't have the wristbands and car placard that we needed to gain access to the community and our "house".  So they called the realty company on one line and we called them on another.   Then back up to the realty company to pickup the placard and wristbands...They let us in and we found our house and got all the luggage and gear unloaded and were ready to head to the beach.  For some reason, Chris picked up the brochure about the community we were staying in and decided to check it out.  Good thing he did!  We could leave the community, but after dusk we would not be able to get back in because the guardhouse would close and we would need a pass code to get back in.  We had not been given one by the realty company and they were closed.  So we called their "emergency lockout" number when technically we were locked IN!  The agent had no clue what we were talking about and we spent at least an hour on phone calls back and forth trying to get it all sorted out.  We decided to go down to the guardhouse, throw ourselves on their mercy and see if they could help us out at all.  Thank God the guard on duty felt sorry for us.  He said we had half of the pass code figured out and since we had obviously rented the house and had all the paperwork for it, he would give us the other half of it.  So we got to the beach about an hour before it got dark.  We got to see the most amazing sunset though.  And when we first got to the top of the pass over the dune, we looked down and there was a couple getting married!  Beautiful!


We went back to the house and I decided to try out the jacuzzi tub.  The water was the color of pee, and smelled funny.  I thought the hurricane had stirred up the water tanks, and there were no notices to avoid the water, so I got in for a quick dip.  Chris took a shower... When I got out, we decided to see what the jets would do, and they shot sand out, so we never used the tub.  The more we looked around the house, the more dirt we found.  There was black gunk all over the bannisters, dust EVERYWHERE!  And thick layers of it.  We couldn't use the one toilet b/c the "cleaners" had left feces on the seat...Both of the showers had soap scum and dirty soap suds on the walls.  There was grease all over the sink and blinds in the kitchen.  The boards and nails on the deck were loose, so we set deck furniture over that so we would tear up our feet on the nails.  Needless to say, we were surprised the dreaded bedbugs weren't there.  I don't think the housecleaners had met up with SOFT SCRUB!  I was more than willing to introduce them!  Don't think I didn't complain!  I did repeatedly! 


The house itself was cute and the neighborhood was incredible.  I just wouldn't ever use the realty company they have representing them ever again.  By the way, don't use Sun Realty to rent a home from in the Outer Banks.  They are clueless about the security features of their properties,have a nasty cleaning crew and screwy ways of doing everything...the story will develop more from here...I want you to come back for more!!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

More Paranormal Experiences...

Before I met Chris in Jan 2002, I had numerous experiences at my house.  A lot of them dealing with my Daddy.  I saw a lot of full figure apparitions of him and felt his presence in hundreds of situations.  I came to get used to him being around me all time.  About June of 2002, I moved to Chris's house and stayed there with him for 2 years.  During that time, things were quiet.  I didn't have a lot of encounters, and it all kind of slipped into the past and out of my mind.  Then in 2004 we moved back to my property and got a "new" mobile home.  It wasn't long before things started to pick up.  There were orbs, orange, white and yellow.  Beautiful and frequent.  They were near the ceiling of my kitchen, above the head of my bed near the ceiling and coming up out of the floor of my living room.  I seen one come out of my Mom's car one night when she got home from being out with her friends.  Then all of a sudden it wasn't just my Daddy I was seeing anymore.  My grandmother, who had passed in July 2002, started shaking the foot of my bed at night.  She seemed to get a big kick out of waking me up like that.  She also would pull on my ankles.  Once another young female came in and tickled the bottom of my foot and shook the bed.  She had long strawberry blonde hair, and a gauzy white billowing night gown.  I also heard her giggle!  A man started showing up in the corner behind my chair.  He would make the movement of the rocker change, like bumping it in the middle of a rock.  He always smells strongly of old stale cigarette smoke.  He is in his mid thirties, and his name is David.  It is like he is trying to get someone's attention, but when he gets it, that's enough.  He never tries to leave a message - or at least I don't get a message from him.  There was also a woman in late 1800's to early 1900's clothing that showed herself - full figure - in my living room.  She had on a striped skirt and an apron.  She had her hair up on her head in a bun, right on top.  She looked like an old photograph, sepia colored, and she sort of rolled, like tv's did in the 80's if the setting wasn't just right.  She looked like my great grandmother - Alice (Ally), but I can't be sure.

About this time - mid 2005 or later - the "dark figure" started showing up again.  The first time, I was sick and sleeping in the recliner in the living room.  I wasn't sleeping well because I couldn't breathe through my nose at all.  I had a bad sore throat too.  I felt something come up at the bottom of the chair and then press down on my chest.  It wouldn't let up.  I prayed and called out the name of Jesus, and as soon as I said that Name...he was gone!  It was the same figure that had showed up at the side of my bed in the mid -nineties.  Later, I was sleeping on the couch in the living room and I heard footsteps coming down the hall.  I was sick again, and my Mom had been coming down in the day to take care of me.  So I thought it was still her there at night coming down the hall to check on me.  I was anxious to see her there because she is so comforting when you are sick, and I was really anticipating seeing her come around the corner.  But it wasn't her that came around the corner, it was the shadow man...He held me down again and curled up around my back, pressing his body tightly up against mine like he was spooning or cradling me.  Thing of it is, there was nowhere for anyone to lay behind me.  I was on the couch facing the back of it, and it is narrow.  I prayed and pled the blood of Jesus, and it left immediately.  I also knew where it was staying.  It was staying in the back of my craft room/closet.  It is messy in there, cluttered with boxes and totes of craft supplies and yarn.  If you didn't know it was organized, you would think that someone just threw stuff in there.  I tolerated it beig there for a while, and then talked to my Mom.  She had been having the same kind of experiences as I had and she still lived in the home where I had my first experience with him in the mid-nineties.  He would come down the hall at night and curl up around her and spoon her.  So I decided that something had to be done.  So I got ready and one morning I went after it.  I cleaned and straightened up the craft closet the best I could and then went in and rebuked it in the precious Name of Jesus Christ.  Then I told it that it was banished and could never come back ever again.  I read aloud the book of Psalms chapter 91.  I did that throughout my house, concentrating on the craft closet and the side of my bed.  It was really hard to do at first.  It felt like I was being choked.  I could hardly breathe, but I knew if I gave in and stopped that it would never leave and it would be even more powerful than it was.  So I pressed on.  It disappeared and things improved in that area dramatically.  I was still seeing my orbs and feeling my human spirits, but nothing evil.  It felt lighter and more bright in the house.  What a relief!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Trip to TALA...

OK, so Mom and I are out at the yardsales and everything is pretty slow in Weston - no pun intended... So we go out and check out TALA - Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum. I didn't know it, but they have a few rooms that you can tour for free! Mom definately does NOT want to take a tour there, so we did the free rooms and I will go back later with Chris for the grand tour - paranormal, of course!

The first time I saw TALA, I could feel it was a forboding place. Chris and I were really just driving by and didn't really stop. The next time I saw TALA, I was with my Mom and we were at the sales in Weston in Summer '09. We stopped and got out and I took some pictures outside. I didn't dare go in because when we drove past the water fountain in front the sensation in my head was like being in a room full of 500 people and all of them talking to you at the same time. I could feel the confusion and chaos that certainly reigned there and didn't want to go inside. I thought I wouldn't be able to stand it.

This time, Mom and I went over. Once again, at about the water fountain, I could feel all these people talking to me. We parked, got out and started inside. As I was walking up the steps, it felt like something was trying to stop me from going in. It was like walking into an incredible headwind. It felt like I had hundreds of pounds of weights tied to my legs and arms. And I felt like I dreaded going in there.

After we went into the room beside the Superintendant's Office, I felt like someone had come up behind me and put their hands on my shoulders and then just went limp, like I was dragging someone behind me. This continued throughout the rest of our visit. At one point I had a cramp in my right shoulder where it felt like their fingers were pressing into my shoulder. We looked around and then went to leave and going down the steps it felt like someone was pushing me out of there. I still felt like I was dragging someone - a female in a white nightgown. It was after we were a good ways down the road that that feeling left. Ironically, there was a sign on the door of the one room that said "This area is off limits to ghost hunters"...Now how exactly do you stop that sort of thing if one is merely sensitive.

After we left TALA, Mom and I were talking about how it made us feel to be there. She felt overwhelming sadness, depression and anger. She asked me one strange question - "Why did you skip steps when you walked up the steps into the building?" But I hadn't. She said she watched my feet as I walked up the steps and she saw me skip every other step. But I had NOT skipped any steps I placed my feet on every single step. It was too hard walking up them to skip even one.

That afternoon when I got home, it felt as if the woman had followed me. I felt her around me all of that night and the next day. It seems now that she feels that she has been "sensed" and that my place is not familar to her so she is back at TALA where unfortunately she feels she belongs.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Paranormal Cont...

I remembered something that happened while I was in my twenties and living up Bingamon. My father-in-law had just passed away in Dec of '92. I was driving to class in the spring of '93 and he appeared in my passenger seat. He didn't say or do anything, and I acknowledged that he was there. It felt strange, but I talked out loud to him. I could see the passenger door thru him and he had his customary coat and cowboy hat on. I actually had the coat hanging in the closet at home. It was about a month later that my husband told me he was leaving. I don't know if that had any connection to the apparition, but I always felt like my father-in-law and I were kindred spirits.
In the spring of 2000, my Daddy began coughing. It wasn't out of the ordinary for him to have a bout of a chest cold a couple of times a year, so we just treated the cough as we usually would. After a few weeks, he went to the doctor and got some antibiotics. They didn't seem to help and this started a string of doctor visits and different antibiotics. Finally in Oct, he was int he hospital. He had a bad infection that wasn't getting better. They were treating him and planning on him making a full recovery and coming home. One day in the middle of Oct, I was vacuuming my living room. I was living in the trailer that sat on this same lot I live on now. There was nothing out of the ordinary, except that later in the day I was going to go to the hospital and visit my Daddy. When I got to the couch in the living room, it felt like something hit me in the stomach-HARD! It doubled me over, but I was alone in the house. I had to sit down on the couch. With the "punch" came flashes in my mind of my Mom crying, the family in an uproar, everyone torn up emotionally, chaos. I saw different family members and their emotions. I thought it was because my niece was having a lot of problems and the family was worried about her. I thought in my mind that maybe she had done something stupid and that the family was upset about that. This lasted about 5 minutes; not being able to breathe and these changing images flashing in my mind. The one thing I realized later that my Daddy wasn't in any of these images. A month later he passed away in the hospital in the middle of the night. The family was devastated! After his death things around here really picked up in the paranormal sense.
I would be sitting on the couch and look up and out the window and he would be walking thru the yard. He had his blue plaid lined flannel shirt on and his hands clasped behind his back, classic Daddy. He would be in the house, on the property, at my job, in the car. When my boyfriend and I broke up, my Mom was down at my house the night I threw him out. We were in my room and were boxing up my boyfriends junk and there in the corner of the room was a full body apparition of my Daddy. He was just standing there, watching over his girls. The love that was radiating from him was so strong and comforting. He was with me for 7 1/2 years. It was so comforting and strengthening to know he was always around. I even had a picture of an orb in my kitchen that I know was him. The strange thing is that when I quit feeling/seeing him here, the picture also changed. In the original photo, there was only one orb. Now in the picture there is a line of orbs. You wouldn't believe it if you hadn't seen it for yourself, and now the evidence itself has changed.
The most wonderful part of this is when/why I stopped seeing my Daddy. I had met my fiance in Jan of 2001. We were in no hurry to get married, and were both perfectly happy just living together and having our lives. After we had been together about 6 years, we did start talking about getting married, but he wasn't ready yet, and I understood. In the fall of 2007, we started looking at rings and talking again, but didn't do anything. I was still seeing my Daddy on a regular basis. In February of 2008, I found a ring I loved at Gordon's and I told Chris about it. In March, I stopped seeing my Daddy and I haven't seen or felt his presence since. Life went on for Chris and I and we went on vacation in Aug/Sept of 2008 to the beach. On Sept 4, at sunrise, on the beach, Chris proposed. And I accepted! Later that day we were talking about the ring and how he had gotten it. That was when he told me he had actually bought it in March of '08 and had just been waiting on the right moment to pop the question...That tells me that my Daddy knows I am loved and safe now and that he can rest because both of his girls are in good hands. Chris loves and takes wonderful care of both me and my Mommy. This just makes me want to cry. I have tried to contact my Daddy since, but he never responds, and since I was his baby girl, I had him wrapped around my finger and he would definately show up if I was the one asking. So I know he is finally resting on the other side and that he can be at peace now, and that I don't have to worry because he has put his stamp of approval on Chris!