What a klutz!

When I was growing up, we would go and visit my Aunt, Uncle and Grandmother who lived in OH. My aunt had the most gorgeous 1930's lamp with two round globes, one on the top and one of the bottom of the lamp. They were milky white with violets on both of them. A real heirloom. I remember always seeing that lamp setting in a place of obvious favor on a round table in front of the front window. It sat there for years. I was always allowed to look, but knew never to touch it. I adored that lamp. It made it through the years of my childhood and all of my cousins that came to visit and play. No one ever bumped that table where the lamp sat.

Years later my Aunt and Uncle moved to a new house in a new town just up the road. We visited there a time or two and then my Uncle passed away. I got married and my new husband and I went to go to a couple of amusement parks in the area and stayed with my Aunt. We were having a wonderful visit, catching up and just enjoying each other's company. I have always been a rather clumbsy person, and nothing still has changed. I like the facebook group that said I could trip over flat surfaces. I think I have actually tripped over my own shadow before... Well, my Aunt had this beautiful collection of Home Interior's porcelain animals on a side table by her door. Across the walkway was her chair and a side table with the much adored lamp on it. My new husband and I were getting ready to go out for dinner with my Aunt. I was looking at all the porcelain animals she had and talking to her about them while she got her jacket on. I made a motion with my arm and pushed my elbow back and caught the top of the lamp and knocked it out into the middle of the hardwood floor...I was mortified! My Aunt just laughed and brushed it off, cleaned up the glass and refused to take any money for a replacement. And she also gave me a nickname that has stuck to this day...she calls me "Klutz" and everytime she does, everyone knows why and gets a good laugh out of it. What a gracious lady she is, in so many more ways than just this. It taught me that things aren't what is important in life, people are. I knew it anyway, but it was such a wonderful way for her to show it to me in more than just theory!

Happiness...

I am having a grand ol' time. I can't remember being this happy since the summer before kindergarten. It is a total contentment. And a great deal of it is thanks to Chris. He is incredible. I know that God brought us together because I could never have found someone so perfect for me on my own. I just hope that I am as perfect for him as he is for me.

There is a bittersweet awareness in this happiness that I am keenly aware of. It is almost an exquisite pain and practically tangible. I know it won't last forever. This time is almost like being in suspended animation. And I am almost afraid of the incredible sadness that I know can and may follow. The kind that swallows you up and if you aren't careful will suck you into a deep depression.

So I am thoroughly enjoying and savoring every single second of this precious happiness and thanking God that He has blessed me with this time. It will be a great bolster against any negativity that may follow. Something to feed my soul through whatever may follow.

Of course, I want to think that this time is my "reward" for being through the sometimes incredible tough times I have already been through in the past. This may or may not be the case and that is okay. If the wonderful times don't last, neither can the awful ones. And with the wonderful support system I have, and the love of a Father that is beyond understanding and incomprehensible to me a mere mortal, I know I will be fine whatever may come.

In the meantime, I am going to just wallow in the sheer joy, contentment, and happiness I am finding with every new day. And give thanks to God for his mercy, grace, love and forgiveness! May all of my friends and followers enjoy a time like this at the exact time they need it.