Happiness...

I am having a grand ol' time. I can't remember being this happy since the summer before kindergarten. It is a total contentment. And a great deal of it is thanks to Chris. He is incredible. I know that God brought us together because I could never have found someone so perfect for me on my own. I just hope that I am as perfect for him as he is for me.

There is a bittersweet awareness in this happiness that I am keenly aware of. It is almost an exquisite pain and practically tangible. I know it won't last forever. This time is almost like being in suspended animation. And I am almost afraid of the incredible sadness that I know can and may follow. The kind that swallows you up and if you aren't careful will suck you into a deep depression.

So I am thoroughly enjoying and savoring every single second of this precious happiness and thanking God that He has blessed me with this time. It will be a great bolster against any negativity that may follow. Something to feed my soul through whatever may follow.

Of course, I want to think that this time is my "reward" for being through the sometimes incredible tough times I have already been through in the past. This may or may not be the case and that is okay. If the wonderful times don't last, neither can the awful ones. And with the wonderful support system I have, and the love of a Father that is beyond understanding and incomprehensible to me a mere mortal, I know I will be fine whatever may come.

In the meantime, I am going to just wallow in the sheer joy, contentment, and happiness I am finding with every new day. And give thanks to God for his mercy, grace, love and forgiveness! May all of my friends and followers enjoy a time like this at the exact time they need it.